Simple kind of life…

Whoa!!! For a minute there I thought, "Hey! I don’t remember doing this shoot!" Ooops, my bad… I thought it was me… hahaha! Amazing!!!

By the way, this is Kou Shibasaki… She’s this popular singer/actress in Japan (if you’ve watched that Asian horror flick One Missed Call, you’d probably know her). We’re not really look-alikes, but apparently in this photo, we have a slightly striking resemblance.. well, minus the skin color that is… hehe! Got some of my coworkers fooled though… they were browsing through this forum about this popular Japanese chick (forgot the name… these guys just love them Japanese girls :p) and saw this pic… They thought I was already hitting it big in Japan… AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I wish!

Last Saturday, I got together with my two bestfriends at Podium… hung out and did some catching up over coffee. Just talk.. talk.. talk.. Nothing fancy. But we did have a lot of fun. This is actually the first time in years we had a night out as singles again. Yes, three single girls out on a Saturday night… No boyfriends lurking around us, or calling to check up on us, or telling us we have to go home early, you know the deal. Yup, it was such a beautiful night. As Destiny’s Child would sing "Ain’t no feeling like being free.." Hmm… Feels like college all over again.

This is the kind of stuff that I miss. Good conversations with good friends. And for a very long time I was kinda deprived of that coz both these girlfriends of mine were attached for a long.. long.. long time with their so-they-thought love of their lives… See, these ladies were in a long term, and not to mention serious, relationships with their FIRST (ex)BFs - one for almost 7 years, and one almost 5. During college, I was always the 3rd wheel.. in get-togethers, I was always on stag… though I had my share of being in a somewhat serious relationship… we were on and off and on then eventually off for good. The rest were never the serious kinds. It’s either I was serial dating or having ungodly relationships with men..

I dunno, I guess as a typical Sagittarian, I really loved my freedom too much. I don’t like the idea of being "tied down". I get upset by the fact that I can’t hangout with my bestfriends because their BFs didn’t want to, or because they wanted to just be with their BFs… Though I do understand, that’s what their setup was, and I respect that. I guess, somehow deep inside I envied them for having such kinds of relationships. I still wonder what it’s like… *sigh* But they have to admit, I had the most fun though. *lol*

And now, being together again with them as singles feels kinda refreshing. It’s a sad thought that their relationships didn’t work out… but that’s just how life is… shit always happens… and they should’ve anticipated that. I guess if you’re in a relationship for that long, you kinda feel confident that things will just stay the way they are. But I wouldn’t know that feeling, would I? Me… I’m always a classic case walking paranoia… just like right now. Probably the reason why I stopped the dating games. It kinda gets tiring too, you know. Although my friends would probably disagree with me on that excuse.. hehe! I know.. i know.. I’m a fool in love! You know the feeling… it’s crappy! But whatever… *sigh*

Anyway, I know it’s kinda selfish of me, but somehow I felt kinda relieved… relieved that our friendship can carry on again like it used to. Now we can talk about stuff again I can actually relate to… and new stuff that I never really knew  about them until now… And I am happy that they are experiencing new things again… things that they were supposed to experience while we were a bit more younger. Like I said earlier, that night really felt like college all over again.. I felt somewhat contented.

Carrie Bradshaw was right… "If you are single, there is always one thing you should take out with you on a Saturday night… your friends."

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To my bessies… I know all of us are goin through some pretty tough
shit right now with men, but being with you guys made a big difference in my
pretty fucked up week. I really had a blast last Saturday, even if we we’re just sitting down doin nothing but talk… And I hope we
could do it again real soon!!! I love you guys!!! *muah*

Isten, we really missed you that night… and girl, you missed a hell lot!!! So next time you better be there… Hope to see you soon! Love you too…

"There’s a moment..
There’s always a moment!
I can do this, I can give in to this, or I can resist it.
And I don’t know what your moment was
But I bet you, there was one."

- CLOSER

Last night I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
on DVD… I have been longing to watch it since it was shown here, but
I never had the chance… until last night. It was surreal and I fell
in love with it. Bittersweet. Got me inspired. :p

===========================

"My dreams are cruel joke.
They taunt me.
Even in my dreams I’m an idiot
Who knows he’s about to wake up to reality.
If I could only avoid sleep. But I can’t.
I try to tell myself what to dream
I try to dream that I’m flying…
Something free…

It never works…"

So I keep holding on to those dreams
though I know I get nothing.
Not even wanting to wake up..
for I know when I wake,
Truth will slap me in the face.
The pain will drain me out,
and tears will make me see through you.
I’m scared to face what could be the inevitable…
I’m scared to open my eyes
and see what’s out there…
because I’m scared to find out
that finally…
I’m looking at a different you.

==========================

Last weekend, I read this article from the newspaper entitled Pick Your Status: Wife, Mistress, Lover? Yeah, I read newspapers too.. God I must be really getting old! Anyway, it talked about women having 3 roles in relationships. But unfortunately, we must only pick one, "Until we get tired or he gets very tired and then we change status." Oh well, what’s new?

A. The Wife
It says this the strongest position of the three since you have legal identity. Ideal… until you realize the romance is gone and you’re just trying to keep the love alive, maybe for the sake of your kids. But heck, that’s a lot of work, and a lot of sacrifices to take. One really has to have some martyr blood in her to pull that off. Hmm, reminds me again of our Jesus List game..

B. The Mistress

This role, on the other hand, is like being the second wife…  a back-up so to speak, in case the man gets bored with the legal wife… you know the deal. It’s pretty much as good as being the wife, only no sleep overs for you. But damn, if you’re lucky and the wife dies young, now you can demand… who knows you might get to have that sleep over you’ve been wanting for so long… until the romance dies down for you too and next thing you know you’re asking yourself why do you have to spoil everything with marriage? Sucks doesn’t it?

C. The Lover
In other words, the significant other. For this role, all you get is the joy of being together, no strings attached *ouch!*, and you probably end up with only memories, instead of marriage or financial settlements. Less hassle, less stress, less heartaches *you think?*.. sounds promising? Yeah, but it’s pretty much less of everything else as well. How fulfilling… *double ouch!*

So, A, B, or C? Hmm…  If you marry, USA statistics say that "you stay happy from anywhere between 2 to four and a half years." What’s next is, well, I guess all work and no play… making you as dull as Jack… whoever he is. If you become a mistress, sure that could work… it usually starts our pretty good… you’ll be well provided for, but can you live with the thought of being only the second choice? Besides, these situations almost always end up in a mess. And if you become a lover, nothing’s gonna come out of it, so might as well not. Doesn’t give you much of a choice does it?

But the author did point out one thing that’s actually not in the choices she gave earlier. This is probably the most common option that most women rule out in relationships… the relationship with the self. She said she’s been married, then became a mistress, but she in the end realized being single is the best choice she made among the many roles that women play. Well good for her. On the other hand, maybe she’s just bitter that her relationships didn’t work out.. hehehe!

I guess it’s really a case to case basis. I just found this article interesting, so I just thought of sharing it. It’s not to say that I advocate single-blessedness. I just think that it’s a choice that women should also consider. It’s not sad as you’d think it sounds (society is to blame for that stereotypical mentality).. I’m just saying it’s probably a good option as well. Then again, it still boils down to finding your own happiness.

Good luck to us!!! But as I always say… I don’t need to validate my existence
with the existence of somebody else.

So what’s it gonna be girl?

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PS: The night I read that article, I saw my mum and dad watching TV holding hands… They’re not really the showy type of people, so I seldom see some intimacy in the house… most of the time I see them arguing like a couple of 10-year olds.. now that’s marriage alright! Anyway, I think that was the first time I took notice of them holding hands in a long-long time (been too busy i guess).  It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside… can’t help but smile. 26 years… and still in love *sigh*  and this is the kind I know will last forever. Well I guess there’s still hope for us all…