Christmas Irony
Sunday, December 25th, 2005I can’t help but notice that this year’s Christmas day is really very different from all the Christmases that’s passed. This time, I really didn’t feel like it’s Christmas at all. I don’t know what it is, but for me, it seemed more quiet… less fuss… less happenings… It’s that or I just haven’t been goin out much these days. But on the eve of Christmas itself, I really observed the distinction. There was definitely less celebration goin on. I guess that says a lot about the financial and economic status of the country and the people. It’s been really a tough year for all of us, financially speaking… and I can say that based on my own experience. It’s quite sad.
Personally, this holiday season is most especially different for me. The previous years, I’ve been making a big deal out of buying gifts for my kid cousins, nieces, nephews, godchildren, friends, and relatives. My list was always complete. But this year, I never went out shopping for Christmas gifts. Not because I didn’t want to… but because it’s out of my budget… i didn’t get the money I was expecting to get on my last paycheck… our stupid HR "forgot" to include my OT pays in the last payroll, so I didn’t get it in time for Christmas. *sigh* This is very upsetting for me, because I always enjoyed the sight of the kids in our family opening their presents on Christmas eve… most especially the hugs and the kisses I get from them… Now I didn’t get to enjoy them.
I was a bit embarrassed because I don’t have anything to give them. But despite that, I heard the most amazing thing from my young cousins, Rochelle and Rebecca (7 and 5 years old respectively). Hours before Christmas, they went to our house and they were so excited to tell me that they have a gift for me and that they were the ones who picked out the stuff. I can see the eagerness in their faces, and that made me feel even guiltier that I don’t have something to give them. So I told them that’s really sweet, but what if I don’t have a gift for them (yet)? And you know what… they just said "Ok lang!" with smiles in their faces… i saw no trace of disappointment whatsoever… they’re actually more excited to give me their gift… and that really touched me. I guess even young as they are, they already understand the current situation within our family circle… and I am so very proud of them for being mature about it… and of their parents for bringing them up so well. Now that lifted my spirits a little. Of course, I will still get them their gifts… Once I get my money. 
I didn’t get much gifts myself… and I don’t really expect to be given gifts anymore anyways… that’s probably how it really goes when you grow older. Hanging out with friends and loved ones would be enough for me. Still I’m thankful to the people who gave me gifts this Christmas. Despite what I said, I must admit, I still love getting them. :p That’s why I am so grateful to get a gift from Chi’s dad.. It was such a big pleasant surprise… Coz I never really expected it (not to mention it was a big pleasant gift!) Again, I am touched… another spirit-lifter for me this Christmas. 
But the best gift I received didn’t come in a package. It came in a form of good news from Carlo (Chi’s brother)… whom I have been helping out with stuff here since he came back from the States and stayed here for good. It’s been one hell of a year for him most especially and just as he thought of giving up and going back to the US, because he seemed to be having trouble living here… Finally, "everything fell into place" as he would put it. Not only does he have good job where the pay is not so bad and the work is not too much for him to handle… he also found a new girlfriend, who *I think* already got the nod of the family the first time they met her… A good career and lovelife… The two things he’s been really working hard to achieve to give him the self-satisfaction that he’s been looking for but didn’t get from the States. I am so very happy for him, that when he told me the good news, I was like crying tears of joy, and I’m not exaggerating. I am so proud he’s growing mature… I was like a mother seeing her son trying hard to stand up on his own to walk his first steps, but keeps on falling down in the process… Until finally one day he does stand up and walk on his own. And he kept saying he couldn’t have done it without me… I am so proud! Anyway, he is after all "my spoiled adopted son" hehe… and my best friend most especially, next to his brother. Now that’s cherry on top of my Christmas cream. 
As for Chi.. As usual, we again celebrated Christmas in different time zones… so that’s like 2 Christmas days in one year for us. That’s just how I wanted to look at it to make everything easier for me… And even we couldn’t celebrate together… He never fails to show how much he cares… and I really, really appreciate that. He’s been a real sweetheart recently… Spending lots of time chatting with me online… not to mention spending lots on call cards, calling me on the most unexpected moments. It was such a delight! *awww* He always make me happy… and for me, that’s enough gift he could give me on Christmas… or on any time of the year. ^_^
In the end, although this Christmas season has been quite difficult… it’s been quite touching as well… And despite all the drama I’ve had this year… All the bitching and ranting… and even if I’m in my most difficult crisis right now, I can say that I am still very happy about how the end of my year is turning out. This has been the most meaningful Christmas I’ve had by far.
Merry Christmas everyone!
